SO today turned out to be a borderline Epic Fail/ Epic Win day. :PPP I was really happy when I woke up this morning, got some stuff done (all my homework was finished the day before) and was excited that we were blessed with a printer last night off of craigslist. BUT then I got home from class and my computer was dead/broken, and I cant turn it on... and then I find out that Tech can't fix it, and that Im going to have to spend more money on something. :PPP And then it hits me that the deadline for my school bill is just around the corner and my attempts at finding a job, however vigourous or determined they are, have been futile... and THEN I have a job interview (finally) where I have to be escorted around the city by my roommate and two guys from our brother floor (and if you dont know already some of my problems with guys, Ill explain later), and the interview went well but it wasn't for the job I wanted or expected... and then I just got home and was TOTALLY STRESSED OUT.
But LORD LORD you humble me further. I felt awful today to begin with, and after an unplanned, accident-of-a-nap, I felt even worse because I feel like I lose time when I "nap"... and now that I have no computer I feel like I can do NOTHING... so I was just lying on the floor of my dorm, feeling sorry for myself, when I was invited by one of the members of my women's choir to their dorm for some hot chocolate and a good conversation. I didnt feel like going, but I decided to go... and IT WAS SO AWESOME.
Lord, the ways you make me feel so loved and accepted here makes me cry- I'm tearing up as I write this. The testimony of the young woman just down the hall, as we sipped our tea and chocolate, broke my heart and strengthened my passion. I feel so refreshed and at peace, and as we prayed together before I left, I felt so relieved that I joined Women's Choir, because I would have never had met her.
Somethings we take for granted. I hope that this is NOT one of them. I love you, Lord, and I will trust you with everything. Lord help me in the relationships I have here, especially the mixed gender ones. Especially the ones with guys, here, with my brother floor. Lord, I'm really struggling in everything. I don't know how I'm going to get through this, but LORD you have this under control! And I TRUST YOU.
Finally it hits me how much you love me and how much your will on my life is apparant to me. Please please PLEASE NEVER let me go. Thank you, I love you.